Risking Everything - Issue #18
All cards are dealt, and there's nothing else but a choice. Do you go all-in or fold?
Would you move to an entirely new city, without knowing anyone there? Moreover, consider that the new place is in another country, so you'd likely have to switch jobs. And your new job wouldn't pay as much as the one you have now, even though living in the new country is no cheaper than living where you live right now. On top of all that, you don't speak the language, or know much about the culture.
The vast majority of people wouldn’t make such a switch. And it’s no wonder. You’re sacrificing the stability that you’ve built where you are. You’d be leaving your family and all your friends. It really can feel like you’re risking everything.
I want to make a case here for being a little crazy and taking risks. Even when your life would be, on paper, measurably worse.
You can liken this thought process to many other things besides moving between countries. And depending on who you are, maybe only changing your job seems just as crazy. Or not even changing your job, but a place you’re staying at. We all have our thresholds where things start to seem too risky.
I know this firsthand. I’m not an enthusiastic risk-taker. But to me, there just seems to be more risk in becoming stale, so I push myself into new experiences. So in the end I move between countries. I also embrace new endeavors that push beyond my current skill set. That’s not the usual “fake it till you make it”, though. I personally don’t believe in that phrase.
You have already taken on a new project before. One where your skills weren’t fully matching the expectations. You had to learn something new before you could deliver what was promised. Seeing this as “faking it” is not right. You’re not faking. It’s the process that you and everyone else have to go through. You learn and adapt through these experiences to evolve into the person you want or need to be.
The ability to adapt, and learn through change are, in my view, one of the qualities that people forget about the most when they assess their own skillset.
I would have only one piece of advice when you’re about to take a sharp turn in your life. Or when you're making any risky decision. Think about what your certainties are. In life that could be your savings, your family, and friends who'll always have your back. But also consider the other things. Like your ability to make new friends, your resilience, your excitement, and your openness to new experiences.
This is taken from many therapists’ handbooks. When people go through big changes in their life, the focus may lean towards everything that will or that has changed. And I believe this applies even when you’re sacrificing your current stability for future potential. Focusing on the things in life that will carry over the big change can help put things into a more realistic perspective. One where your thinking won’t be clouded by the things you’ll lose. But it’ll be a realistic overall picture of where you are, and where you’re headed.
On the flip side, this wouldn’t be a well-rounded article if I only talked about the reasons you should take risks, and how to make it easier. Taking risks seems dangerous because it can be. You may be leaving an opportunity or stability. And big decisions disrupt that stability.
Specifically with people moving abroad, there are a lot of bad sides to it. One prominent downside that I’ve seen the most is expat guilt; the guilt that many expats face when they start e.g. missing family events. There are also lots of bureaucratic factors like getting a blue card (green for the US) that make things even more complicated.
In the end, I still believe that many people would benefit from taking on as much as they can carry. And I think people can generally carry more than they think.
Have a wonderful day!
PS: What may be strangely relevant here is that it seems like soon I’ll be making a big change in my life. I’ll be following my fiancée, and moving to Copenhagen with her. This was an easy decision, though. She’s taking on a huge opportunity, and I’m really excited to be joining her.
PPS: Due to my move to Copenhagen, I’ll only be giving people Lego sets as Christmas presents from now on. So if you’re someone close to me, make some room in your closet.
PPPS: This topic has been on many minds, especially among my friends and me. Our frequent and passionate discussions have made it clear just how universal and relevant these challenges of risk-taking and change are. Inspired by these conversations and an insightful article by Sasha Chapin, which advocates for the transformative power of blowing up your life, I decided to share my personal reflections on the subject.